you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
we should paint friendship bongs
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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