Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
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i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
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you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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