Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
