Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
