i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
