So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
