Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
