Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
