Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
