You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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