you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?