So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration