I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
