Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.

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(813): dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though. http://tfl.nu/527j

Replies (13) Good night (1677) Bad night (597)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now

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(816): I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now http://tfl.nu/vuci

Replies (23) Good night (1512) Bad night (3142)
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(314): View more from Missouri

96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks

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(314): 96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks http://tfl.nu/s1i2

Replies (12) Good night (4968) Bad night (1086)
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(817): View more from Texas

i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night

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(817): i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night http://tfl.nu/17kd

Replies (11) Good night (1383) Bad night (6249)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.

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(610): she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot. http://tfl.nu/93sx

Replies (26) Good night (7167) Bad night (1428)
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(937): View more from Ohio

He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.

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(937): He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face. http://tfl.nu/s86z

Replies (46) Good night (6217) Bad night (8889)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap

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(732): I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap http://tfl.nu/e6wb

Replies (4) Good night (2848) Bad night (1413)
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(481): View more from

I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW

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(481): I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW http://tfl.nu/doc5

Replies (8) Good night (2234) Bad night (688)
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(914): View more from New York

I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds

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(914): I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds http://tfl.nu/eevd

Replies (4) Good night (1347) Bad night (1393)
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(510): View more from California

Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.

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(510): Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow. http://tfl.nu/c544

Replies (3) Good night (2820) Bad night (879)
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(206): View more from Washington

What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.

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(206): What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world. http://tfl.nu/0k4m

Replies (11) Good night (1492) Bad night (611)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.

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(720): I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer. http://tfl.nu/jm0p

Replies (7) Good night (542) Bad night (1249)
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(404): View more from Georgia

He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.

(404): View more from Georgia

In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.

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(404): He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer. (404): In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup. http://tfl.nu/9ays

Replies (16) Good night (578) Bad night (967)
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(949): View more from California

We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.

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(949): We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex. http://tfl.nu/qzkw

Replies (14) Good night (2552) Bad night (482)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?

(774): View more from Massachusetts

Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?

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(508): So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual? (774): Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone? http://tfl.nu/2o1d

Replies (3) Good night (851) Bad night (315)

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