Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.

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  (804): So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets. http://tfl.nu/c2eo
  Replies (30) Good night (808) Bad night (1191)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  you're like a bully in the Christmas story

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  (334): you're like a bully in the Christmas story http://tfl.nu/ntys
  Replies (3) Good night (716) Bad night (1774)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.

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  (570): don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you. http://tfl.nu/ijol
  Replies (22) Good night (3799) Bad night (818)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned

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  (330): come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned http://tfl.nu/3008
  Replies (9) Good night (5433) Bad night (932)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.

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  (336): I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina. http://tfl.nu/vg1w
  Replies (10) Good night (2818) Bad night (1070)
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  (408): View more from California

  who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am

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  (408): who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am http://tfl.nu/787a
  Replies (13) Good night (2622) Bad night (936)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.

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  (314): I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from. http://tfl.nu/x0kt
  Replies (5) Good night (1552) Bad night (717)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses

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  (704): Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses http://tfl.nu/b9lj
  Replies (1) Good night (1492) Bad night (1204)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.

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  (419): I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation. http://tfl.nu/3fs0
  Replies (3) Good night (1734) Bad night (733)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.

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  (859): If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know. http://tfl.nu/ok32
  Replies (6) Good night (975) Bad night (502)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle

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  (231): I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle http://tfl.nu/1xsa
  Replies (7) Good night (1082) Bad night (483)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.

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  (401): Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here? (231): Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds. (401): I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window. http://tfl.nu/vqmu
  Replies (0) Good night (971) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink

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  (812): his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink http://tfl.nu/s3j7
  Replies (3) Good night (1211) Bad night (313)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.

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  (713): I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover. http://tfl.nu/74mv
  Replies (3) Good night (627) Bad night (269)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here

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  (406): Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here http://tfl.nu/0r5v
  Replies (1) Good night (360) Bad night (309)

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