I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
