I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
