I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
