Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Randomize