Your mouth is God's brothel.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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