My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
