Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
