I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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