And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
