she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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