dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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