i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
