I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
