You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
