I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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