How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
