Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
