If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
