so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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