Plan B is the new Plan A
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
