i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
did you just send me my own nude
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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