Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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