So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
