Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
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I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
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Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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