You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
