I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
