oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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