I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize