All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
