Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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