If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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