I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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