i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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