Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
