The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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