dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
