Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
