Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
