is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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