This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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