People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I didn't notice because vodka
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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