If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize