Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Barsexuality is the new black.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
