Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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