Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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