Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
