We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
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