Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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