He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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