atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
