Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
