Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
