She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night