Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.

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  (303): Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break. http://tfl.nu/0dv9
  Replies (17) Good night (4996) Bad night (700) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor

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  (541): And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor http://tfl.nu/0k04
  Replies (17) Good night (891) Bad night (4741) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer

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  (307): i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer http://tfl.nu/m2mn
  Replies (11) Good night (6221) Bad night (789) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."

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  (512): You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you." http://tfl.nu/7ipp
  Replies (9) Good night (4132) Bad night (1612) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge

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  (845): I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge http://tfl.nu/to4j
  Replies (25) Good night (802) Bad night (5948) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?

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  (315): I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic? http://tfl.nu/satp
  Replies (23) Good night (4121) Bad night (1021) Order T-Shirt
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  (323): View more from California

  Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?

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  (323): Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang? http://tfl.nu/58hv
  Replies (7) Good night (2353) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.

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  (773): You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend. http://tfl.nu/u6sb
  Replies (7) Good night (2707) Bad night (519) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded

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  (406): well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded http://tfl.nu/5ng8
  Replies (3) Good night (1739) Bad night (726) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D

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  (616): I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D http://tfl.nu/kf4w
  Replies (8) Good night (2433) Bad night (433) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.

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  (248): Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed. http://tfl.nu/7r2l
  Replies (10) Good night (2956) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?

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  (845): Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do? http://tfl.nu/0iqf
  Replies (5) Good night (643) Bad night (978) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.

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  (405): The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore. http://tfl.nu/c65h
  Replies (4) Good night (937) Bad night (388) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.

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  (563): I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud. http://tfl.nu/0vsx
  Replies (9) Good night (1114) Bad night (468) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...

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  (803): He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation... http://tfl.nu/sr4l
  Replies (0) Good night (435) Bad night (139) Order T-Shirt

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