plz talk dirty to me
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?