and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh