Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You dont lie about slip and slides
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
