I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize