There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
