on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
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I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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