I'm so fucking centered right now
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
